


You don't have a home (Until you just miss it)

by Prettygirlgraves



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Eating Disorders, F/F, Homelessness, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-05 12:09:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5374724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prettygirlgraves/pseuds/Prettygirlgraves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina Mills is a rich, attractive business woman in Maine who also happens to be the Mayor of a small town, Storybrooke. When she comes across a beautiful blonde, Emma Swan, working in a soup kitchen for homeless people when she visits to donate a cheque, little does she know that she would turn her whole world upside down this Christmas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shelter

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!-
> 
> This is my Christmas fic, it'll be a couple of chapters at least I think. I love SwanQueen, is my favorite ship and I love to write fanfic room about it! If you like this, check out my other fic 'Waiting for the train,' which is a long, angst filled fic nearing it's end. 
> 
> Comments and feedback are greatly appreciated! Thanks to the comments on my fic suggesting I write this for Christmas. Happy holiday season!

She couldn't believe she had to make a public appearance at the soup kitchen. She had given permission for a grant of $15,000, signed the cheque and assumed that was that. She had been charitable for public appearances sake. As the mayor of Storybrooke she had gained the unfortunate title of 'The Evil Queen.' One had to be ruthless in this kind of business, strict, manage budgets, and things had to be cut that people weren't necessarily happy about, but that's life; an incredibly unfair thing that kicks people in the teeth. She had certainly had a fair share of kicks herself.

As she brushed down her skirt and smoothed her hair with her hand, she looked in the mirror. Barely acceptable she mused, but it would have to do. The picture of mayoral sophistication was certainly something she oozed, but she had to admit that the concealer this morning didn't cover the eyes bags as much as she would have liked. 

As her heels met with the hard floor, she took advantage of the authority they gave her. People instantly moved aside for her as she walked out of her office into the lobby of the Town hall. Striding menacingly, her handbag in hand she clambered into her beloved Mercedes Benz, turned the key in the ignition, ready to set off to whatever desolate part of Storybrooke this soup kitchen was located. Not a very pleasant part she expected. 

Her SatNav still puzzled her, as had most new technology for a time, but she was a fast learner, and would hopefully soon grow used to the contraption. It directed her towards darker, dingier streets as she drove closer towards the location of the kitchen. God she hadn't even known there was a place like this in Storybrooke. Perhaps she should be investing some other funds here instead of the local cinema as she had planned.

Turning the corner in her Benz revealed a slightly shabby building called the 'Shelter Café.' A few people lingered outside the doors. It was 9.56am, it hadn't quite opened yet she realized as she checked her watch quickly, expertly maneuvering her car into an available parking space in close proximity to the café.

As she stepped out of the car, she strode over regally to the entrance of the building. She could smell food cooking from outside the doors and it actually smelled good despite wanting to criticize immediately. It had always been a fault of hers to find weakness in everything, a habit she wasn't quite willing to give up on just yet. Her walls were there for a reason. 

Tapping her foot by the door, she stared at a few hungry looking people who also stood outside the door. They all wore thick, grubby coats and looked incredibly malnourished. It made her thank her current wealth and status. Despite that, she knew what it was like to be hungry. Her mother had often starved her as a child, constantly suggesting she was a little too chubby at any available moment. Because of this, Regina had eaten as little as possible, often eeking out the crumbs of the thin slices of bread she had at lunch time. When she was hungry a familiar anxiety washed over her, as if her mothers presence was near to her, whispering in her ear. She felt hunger pangs in her own stomach just thinking about it. 

Regina noticed a kindly looking old woman hobbling to the door of the café. As soon as she opened it, several people pushed past her and rushed inside.

"Excuse me!" She shouted after them irritably, but none seemed to take note of her presence, they were too hungry perhaps or maybe cold. The winter months had taken it's toll in the town and it had begun snowing lightly each day with the gradually decreasing temperatures. 

"Madame Mayor, please come in," the woman said, seemingly irritated but able to muster civility towards her. Regina nodded and breezed in past her to the warmth that the small cafe offered. There were many tables scattered about the room, empty, waiting for people to fill them. There was also large counter that stood at the end of the room, radiating heat from the freshly made soup and stews for the people of the streets, unable to afford their own food. 

"We get busy during the winter, it's nice for people to have somewhere to shelter when it's so cold outside and somewhere they can have warm food."

Regina agreed with a swift nod as she walked over slowly to the counter where the food was situated. 

"Here is where we serve the food to the people," the old woman said, gesturing to the counter. Regina had a sudden urge to give a snide remark at the obviousness of her statement, but she clamped her mouth shut, and simply nodded with a tight smile. 

The woman led her a little closer to the kitchen, behind the counter where the soup was prepared. It seemed clean enough though distinctly lacking in modern appliances she noted. The grant should cover it. 

"There are only three of us here, myself Eugenia, my goddaughter Ruby, and her friend Emma. Ruby tends to serve and Emma, well she does the cooking with me." She gestured to one of the girls stirring furiously at a pan of stew at the hob, her blonde hair tied in a loose ponytail, covering her face. 

"Emma May I introduce to you the mayor of Storybrooke, Regina Mills. She is here to present us with a grant."

The blonde turned her head away from the stew, flicking her hair behind her head to reveal her face. The sudden beauty she had just been exposed to overwhelmed her and she clamped her mouth shut tightly when she realized it had been hanging wide open, slack. 

The blonde had intense green eyes, staring at her with only curiosity and a kindness that Regina couldn't quite put her finger on why. Her features combined oozed with natural beauty and her light makeup only emphasized her features further. The way she looked at Regina made her feel as though she was about to melt into a puddle on the floor.

"Nice to meet you Madame Mayor," Emma said with a grin. "I would shake your hand but as you can see, I'm a little occupied with this stew.'

"That's quite alright, Miss...?"

"Miss Swan. Emma Swan," the blonde affirmed with a smile. 

"Thank you, Miss Swan," she replied with a slight blush. What was happening? The mayor with a crush?!

Eugenia ushered her back to the counter to meet Ruby who was now currently serving food to the people who were at the door, but Regina only had eyes for the blonde. As she walked back into the café, she stared longingly at the blonde who had now got back to mixing away at her stew. 

This trip to the soup kitchen had suddenly gotten far better than she had ever hoped exceedingly quickly. 

Eugenia was talking about some food or something, but she barely noticed as she stared at the blonde- stared at Emma. 

God what had she got herself into?


	2. Falling Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the mayor walked out of the kitchen, Emma stared after her. God her face, could it literally be any more perfect? The curve of her legs, she shape of her dress, even her awkward smile. She was sure she could make a long list. But since when was the mayor this attractive; how had she not known? She was the mayor for gods sake!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for you all!
> 
> I would've updated yesterday but for some reason my computer decided to break down. 
> 
> Comments and feedback are greatly appreciated :)

As the mayor walked out of the kitchen, Emma stared after her. God her face, could it literally be any more perfect? The curve of her legs, she shape of her dress, even her awkward smile. She was sure she could make a long list. But since when was the mayor this attractive; how had she not known? She was the mayor for gods sake!

But she couldn't let this distract her now, anyway there was no way on earth that Regina Mills would ever consider dating someone as poor as her, or with little to no connections she though sadly as she started to stir the stew once more. Regina Mills, the name fit for a queen and oh did she look like one. She probably wasn't even gay!

It took all her concentration to shut thoughts of Regina out of her head as she stirred frantically at the stew that bubbled and spat at her as it cooked on the hob. 

The food was making her mouth water, but she would have to wait. These people probably hadn't eaten since yesterday morning, they took priority. She knew how it felt, to be hungry and on the streets. As a child she'd spent time on the streets to avoid certain homes that weren't the good ones. After a while she'd managed to detect when homes were bad from pretty early on, luckily. On some occasions unfortunately she'd been a little too late sometimes. But now, with the help of granny she was finally doing something right. She had given her a temporary home on her couch which was definitely better than sleeping in her yellow bug.

When the press came, she hid in the kitchen in the back, not wanting the cameras flashing in her face. Regina Mills stood, smiling, showing her teeth in that professional way that wasn't quite real. Emma could tell she was uncomfortable under the camera; she flinched every time the cameras flashed at her, holding the cheque she would be donating. They insisted on doing it outside, despite the fact it had begun to snow lightly outside. Well it was December the 1st, snow in Maine was actually incredibly likely. 

She shivered under the thin leather of her jacket, silently wishing she was wearing a warm sweater. No more people had come in to receive her food so she stirred it slowly, still sitting in the kitchen, hidden away from the small number of paparazzi that crowded Regina- Mayor Mills. 

"Miss Swan?"

Emma jumped, suddenly blinking to reveal Mayor Mills' lovely brown eyes. She was smiling softly, a small amused expression on her face at Emma's obvious zone out.

"Oh, Madame Mayor!" Emma exclaimed. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"No, I just wanted to say...thank you for all you're doing here," the brunette said, with a slight blush in her cheeks, (or was it a flush from the cold weather?) probably the latter. 

"Oh, well it's nothing," Emma replied with a grin.

"So, thank you," the brunette added, a genuine smile replaced the one Emma had seen whilst the photos had been taken out front. 

"Honestly Madame Mayor, I'm happy to help the community. I know what being hungry feels like."

Regina's eyes suddenly went from happy to sad in a matter of seconds as she noted the blondes genuine words. 

"Oh Madame Mayor, I-"

She had said too much, probably screwed it up as always. 

"No problem Miss Swan, I understand. I too have unfortunately had that pleasure," the brunette said with a sad smile.

"I'm sorry," she replied. Her heart ached at the mayors words, how had such a woman had to undergo such cruelty?

"Old news Miss Swan, old news," she jested slightly. 

"Well that's good to hear," Emma replied awkwardly, realising she had heard much more of the brunette than she had ever meant to hear. She also had revealed too much but for some reason, she wanted to share things with this woman. 

"Indeed."

The silence was loud as she secretly stared at the brunette, her makeup perfectly applied onto her perfect face. 

"Well I better get home, a lot to do before Christmas." 

"Yes of course, you're the mayor," Emma said hurriedly, not wanting to waste any more of the brunette's time.

'And a mother, who promised to make iced snowflake cookies this afternoon." 

"Oh..Emma stuttered, flustered. You're a mother." 

Probably married, she muttered under her breath, suddenly feeling a disappointed ache in her stomach.

"Its just me and my son Henry actually," she replied with a slight grin. Emma blushed, not realizing she had been that loud with her later comment. 

"Oh, I'm sorry," Emma stuttered, but a sense if relief instantly flooded her whole body. She hadn't felt that feeling in a king time. Trust her to have feelings for someone so unattainable. 

"It's fine Miss Swan."

"Hopefully see you around then?"

Emma mentally face palmed herself at such a comment. She probably would never encounter mayor mills again, unless she for some reason came to require a food bank which at this point in time seemed incredibly unlikely.

"I hope so," she replied with what seemed like a genuine smile. Emma watched as she strode away in her high heels. A queenly walk, for a queen like woman. 

She stared after Regina mills, long after the woman had walked away from view.The snow swirled down lightly onto the ground, covering the footsteps that Regina had trod, now covering them in a gradually thickening blanket of snow. 

God, what on earth had she gotten herself into this time?


	3. Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been around a week since she had visited the café to present her cheque. Despite her business and a constant flow of jobs needing to be done around town, she often found her mind wandering to Emma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!
> 
> I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update, I've had a very busy Christmas and a lot of work at school. I hope you can forgive me!
> 
> I don't know if you guys still want to read this as it is basically a Christmas Fic, but I will continue to update if you want me to! 
> 
> I hope you all had a good Christmas if you celebrate it, and that you will have a great 2016!
> 
> I would greatly appreciate comments and feedback, they make me want to keep writing! Thanks :)

It had been around a week since she had visited the café to present her cheque. Despite her business and a constant flow of jobs needing to be done around town, she often found her mind wandering to Emma. She almost smirked as she remembered the blonde stirring away so furiously at the stew, and at her embarrassment at Regina hearing her remark about marriage. 

It hadn't been until she had met Emma, that she had found herself to be lonely. The silences without Henry had become that little bit quieter, and a little bit emptier, almost as if they were a suffocating presence lingering wherever she went. It didn't help that companionship at Christmas was actually a charity in the town, run by a volunteer school teacher Mary Margaret. Her constant persistence and suggestive remarks on Regina's lack of partner or father figure for Henry made her feel more alone than ever. Since when had Henry not been enough? 

Her mind was in deep thought as she walked down the slightly icy high street towards the shops in her impractical navy high heels. She was broken from thought and almost fell over onto the floor as someone walked straight into her suddenly as she turned the corner towards the small supermarket.

"Watch where you're going!" She snapped angrily, despite knowing it was partially her fault. If she was to be called the evil queen by all, she may as well act like one. 

"Oh I'm sorry Madame Mayor!" A flustered voice replied. Regina's eyes settled on familiar blonde hair, covering a face that once revealed, was the same face that had been plaguing her mind all week.

"Miss Swan?" She asked surprised and also embarrassed. 

"Yeah, she blurted out, I'm so sorry about that, I really wasn't looking,-"

"No Miss Swan I'm sorry," the brunette interrupted quickly. She didn't want Emma seeing her as they all saw her. That might just seal up her heart for good if everyone saw her as the strict woman she presented. " I was deep in thought I'm afraid, I didn't see you coming," she replied with a gentle smile, hoping and praying it made up for her snapping earlier. 

"No Madame Mayor it's really my fault, Emma repeated again, her cheeks pink and not only from the cold air that whipped around them. I was rushing back to Grannies with my weekly shop!"

Regina looked down at the small white bag the blonde held. It looked almost empty, not nearly enough for Emma to eat in a week she thought, her throat and stomach tightening with sudden anxiety.

"Thats not much food Miss Swan," she said quietly, her throat constricting, preventing an easy flow of breath from her lungs. 

"Ah it does me just fine," the blonde replied with a slight smile, a rosy hue still present in her cheeks from their collision.

"Why don't you eat at the café?" Regina inquired.

This was obviously the wrong thing to say as the blonde's face clouded over almost immediately. 

"I have somewhere and I have a job. It may not be much but it's something which is more than the people who come to the café have. I won't take food out of their mouths," the blonde replied, with a hint of anger in her voice. Regina's throat tightened further as she desperately tried to make up for herself.

"I'm sorry Emma, I didn't mean it like that," she replied hurriedly, feeling her own cheeks go warm in embarrassment. She had obviously got something very wrong here.

"I know you didn't," the blonde replied, all anger suddenly gone, a small sincere smile on her face. "I just don't want people thinking I'm a charity case you know? I've worked hard to get here and I'm trying to stand on my own two feet."

"I understand," the brunette said. 

"Its a special branch of shelter designed to help the homeless actually have some food. They're dependent on it really. I don't want to be dependant on anything or anyone, the blonde said and Regina could tell there was a lot hidden behind her speech. If you depend on something you only end up getting hurt."

Regina understood. Relying on something only meant loss and pain of some form. Love is weakness her mother always said, and though she didn't always follow that rule, especially not with Henry, she never forgot it. 

"It took me a long while to get away from my mothers firm grip, to be able to depend upon only myself, but I managed it, and here I am."

"Wasn't she nice?" The blonde asked almost curiously but Regina sensed a fear waving off her, waiting anxiously for her answer.

"No, Miss Swan she wasn't," she replied calmly. She couldn't let herself get in too deep or her emotions might overflow. 

Emma's soft smile left her face at her words. This conversation was digging in deeper than she had thought and wanted to go at this point.

"Im sorry," Emma replied sadly, looking back at her with an unexpected sympathy, not pity, but sympathy and for that, Regina was grateful.

"Old news Miss Swan, old news."

" I really am sorry though Madame Mayor," she insisted. 

"Regina."

"What?" The blonde asked, confused.

"You can call me Regina, I mean that is my name. No need for my honorific," she replied with a slight grin which only widened as the blonde smiled back.

"Sure thing, Regina," Emma replied with emphasis on her name. God it sounded so good coming out of her mouth she felt her legs grow wobbly the same as the last time they met. This was most certainly more than a crush. This feeling was something she hadn't every felt before; it was a fluttering, like a small, delicate butterfly lay nestled deep in her heart, only just awakened from a long slumber. 

"Oh I'm sorry Miss Swan, I didn't mean to keep you," she said, suddenly remembering the other woman had been in a rush when they I ritually bumped into each other.

"Oh no, don't worry about it Mad- I mean Regina, she said smiling. Though I should get on now. Don't want to keep Granny waiting."

"It was nice bumping into you," she said with a sort of sadness as she felt the feeling of loneliness begin to creep back into her- or had it even left? Soon she would be parted from the unforgettable blonde.

" I hope I see you again real soon," Emma replied as she began to fumble with her bag, taking the first step in the opposite direction to Regina.

"I hope so too Miss Swan."

"Emma," she said with a grin. That grin made Regina's heart flutter even more. It was bright, it was elusive, and goddammit incredibly alluring. "You must call me Emma if I call you Regina."

She laughed brightly, happiness flowing through her veins at her unexpected request. 

"E-M-M-A, she sounded out slowly, emphasising each letter. I hope to see you soon."

The blonde smiled even more as she walked away, towards the café. Before she had got out if hearing distance she heard the blonde call out.

"Watch out, it's icy on the sidewalk!"

Regina smiled despite her feeling of loneliness. She indeed was on an icy, slippery slope, dangerously falling into the trap that was the beautiful Emma Swan.


	4. Presents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas was coming up, fast. Emma had scrimped up some of her few savings, deciding to do some early Christmas shopping to buy Granny and Ruby some presents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Seeing as is Novemner, thought I'd whip out this Christmas fic again in hope that I will be able to finish it before Christmas this year. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Please leave a comment/ review :)

Christmas was coming up, fast. Emma had scrimped up some of her few savings, deciding to do some early Christmas shopping to buy Granny and Ruby some presents. It wouldn't be much but it was the thought that counted- right? They had done so much for her, and it was time to give something back to them, especially in this traditional time of love and family; they were the closest thing to family that Emma had ever had.

She walked carefully along the slippery side walk to Storybrooke mall. It wasn't really a mall, it was too small to equate to such a title and it barely had any shops inside; those that were still there were a little grotty to say the least, but they were manageable, and suitable for someone of her wealth.

When she walked inside the small shopping centre, her mind wandered to Regina. There was a quaint toy shop on the first hand side as she entered that were all handmade by Marco, the carpenter; until now she had never thought to go in before. Regina had mentioned she had a son and she suddenly had a desperate desire to buy one of the beautiful carved toys for him. 

As a child she had never really had any toys except a small doll that she had called Sophie. She had been stolen in a home, maybe her fourth, she couldn't quite remember. After that she hadn't ever had another one, even when some of the nicer parents had offered. She knew the homes were only temporary, and the doll would be likely taken away again. She didn't want to feel that again.

She blocked the thoughts out as she opened the door with a determined jangle of the bell. 

'Hello!' An accented voice cried from what Emma assumed to be a store room from the back.  
'How can I help you?'

'Hi...I was looking for a toy,' she stuttered, now nervous. What the hell was she doing buying a present for Regina, the mayors son who she barely even knew! 

"Could you be more specific?" He asked with a chuckle, ducking his head round the corner with a friendly smile. 

'I uh..it doesn't matter. I shouldn't have come.' She turned and began to walk towards the door, but the carpenters voice called to her, and he beckoned her back into the shop. 

'Hey no, sorry! I will be of any assistance I can,' he said apologetically. 

'I..'She said awkwardly, her hands shoved in her pockets as she mentally regretted her idea. 

'How old is the child?'

'Uh I don't actually know, I think he might be 5?' She guessed, trying to figure out everything she knew about the mayor. She soon realized she knew absolutely fuck all about Reginas son, she didn't even know much about Regina herself. 

The carpenter laughed, 'Of course, I'll see what I can do!'

He went to the back of the shop, leaving the blonde standing awkwardly by the door. She stared at the beautiful detailed wooden objects that covered every crevice of the shop. It went from small toys, to large pirate ships and even a rocking horse! The craftsmanship was incredibly detailed, and she couldn't help but walk over and softly touch an intricately carved dinosaur figure. She held it in her hands and imagined how much work had gone into it. Such achievement she only wished she had accomplished. All she was was a waste of space. 

'Here,' the voice of Marco called over. He walked over, holding a small carved dinosaur, similar to the one she had just been looking at.

'Everything you've made here is incredibly beautiful,' she replied softly with a smile. 

'Thank you my friend,' he said with a smile. Would this do for the boy?"

'It's more than perfect,' the blonde answered with a grin. Somehow she just knew Regina's son would like it.

'Great!' He replied with a warm smile that oozed kindness. 

'How much?' She asked nervously, worrying suddenly how much it would be for his amazing craftsmanship. 

He deliberated, and answered:  
'How is $10 for you?'

'Thats great!' She said with a relieved sigh. It was cheaper than she had expected, and she still would have some money left over to buy presents for Ruby and Granny.

'Perfect, I hope to see you again soon,' he said with a smile that seemed so genuine as Emma handed over the money and took the beautiful dinosaur. 

'Thank you,' she replied. She had bought one present to tick off her list. As she left the shop however, an alarming thought popped into her head. Should she get something for Regina? She didn't even know what the woman liked. 

God this was a complication she hadn't been expecting. 

Perfume?  
Jewellery?

She was such a classy, queen-like woman and they seemed like such predictable presents, but what else was there? Anything she got her would be considered cheap in comparison to her perfect face. Her smile although rarely seen throughout the town seemed to shine a bright sun through the grey white clouds that the snow made. 

She sighed, and continued down the unsurprisingly empty mall, picking up a book for Granny that she'd been unsubtle about asking for, and a new lipstick for Ruby. 

Her last coins jingled in her pocket, revealing to her how little money she had remaining. It was not nearly enough to get Regina something that she felt would be an acceptable gift she realised with sadness. 

She pushed the thought to the back of her mind however as she wandered home in the growing dusk of the evening, inhaling the sharp chill of the winter's air as she did so. 

The soup kitchen was basically empty apart from one man who was guzzling the last remains of soup they had that day she noted as she walked into the building, it's light contrasting with the darkness outside. She smiled at the man as she walked by, but he didn't notice as his head was buried in his food. She didn't mind, she understood the hunger of a homeless person as she too had been there once.

With a brief wave to Granny who was sat at the desk knitting with a ball of wool. She attempted to walk past with her gifts but unsurprisingly, Granny called her back. 

"Emma," she said, making the blonde jump and turn round to face her. "Good outing?"

"Yep," she said with a smile, holding her paper bag up. 

"What did you get?" The old woman asked with a warm smile, but Emma merely shook her head and winked, refusing to enlighten the woman on what she had bought her for Christmas. Granny looked disappointed, even a bit angry, but Emma saw the twinkle in her eyes and knew she was merely joking. 

Flashing a quick smile, she turned and jumped up the dingy lit stairs into the apartment she shared with Ruby and granny. It wasn't much, but it was enough to get by, at least for now. 

She grabbed a tin of soup from the cupboard, quickly heating it up and tipped it into a bowl, sitting down on the couch to enjoy it. She realized she had one tin left, and it was only Thursday. She would have to make the next one last for a few days she thought with an unhappy sigh. 

A vision of Regina's concern for her flashed into her mind as she sucked in another spoonful with hunger. She was right, she didn't really have enough food to get by. But what could she do? Emma wouldn't even consider taking anything from the soup kitchen, and there wasn't a chance of leftovers as Granny always insisted on reheating what was left from the previous day. 

As she sipped her last spoonful, her stomach gave a painful growl, highlighting her remaining hunger that she would not be able to satisfy. 

She flopped down on the sofa, snuggling down beside her cream knitted blanket that she had kept from childhood. She tried to ignore her stomach pain as she thought of Regina. Her smile was the most heavenly thing in this world, Emma was sure of it. She was also kind, and that was important. Regina also had a past, a past like her own that appeared to be unhappy; something they could connect on, and maybe even comfort each other. 

But who was she kidding? Regina mills was a goddess, and who was she? Someone who couldn't even afford enough food to get by. 

The blonde picked up the wooden dinosaur from the paper bag that she had bought for Henry, and placed it on the table by her bed. She smiled slightly at her gift, then snuggled down on the couch, ignoring the slight chill she felt, watching as a few flakes of snow fell from the blank sky onto Storybrooke. This Christmas was sure turning into something she hadn't expected.


	5. Hot cocoa?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She supposed she should like the snow; the magic, the excitement, the grin it put on Henry's face. But honestly, all Regina could think about was the fact that she had melted snow trickling down her back which was chilling and extremely unpleasant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Merry Christmas! 
> 
> Here's another update, I really hope you enjoy it. I really hope I finish this in time for Christmas, still got a few days left though so I'll give it a go! 
> 
> Please leave a comment/review it would be much appreciated, thanks :)

She supposed she should like the snow; the magic, the excitement, the grin it put on Henry's face. But honestly, all Regina could think about was the fact that she had melted snow trickling down her back which was chilling and extremely unpleasant. She shuddered, walking with her arms crossed and shoulders hunched over to avoid any more unnecessary cold air slipping down her designer coat. This kind of weather always put a frown on her face and a splinter in her heart. The ice had a sharpness, a cruelty to it that was a little too close to home. 

Of course, because of the deep snow coating Storybrooke, her car had conveniently decided to break down before she had the chance to even set off to pick Henry up from his half day at school. How very useful, she muttered to herself angrily. Whoever was looking down on her from the heavens sure had it out for her today. 

She had walked the 15 minutes to Henry's school, her impractical heels sliding on the icy side walk as she grumbled. Her mind was a buzz of paperwork, numbers and the annoying woman who has visited her this morning who just wouldn't shut up. Even if there had been an apocalypse, Regina betted that the woman still would've searched for her to complain about parking space. 

She turned the corner into the school grounds. The snow coated the trees creating elegant white sparkles. The snow made a soft crunch under her feet as she walked over to the entrance of the building to wait for Henry. 

Despite her bad mood, happiness bubbled up in her chest as soon as she saw Henry's grubby little face poking out from the doors of the school. His face was anxious, searching, but when his green eyes met hers, he grinned and ran over.

'Mom!' He yelled with a grin, racing up into her open arms. She picked him up, swinging him around with her hand tightly gripping his head. She held him close to her chest as she did so, appreciating the warmth and comfort her little boys arms offered her. If only her own parents had been this way with her she thought mournfully, but it was only a fleeting memory, and she allowed herself to feel Henry's very real arms wrapped around her neck. 

"Hello my darling," she replied, planting a kiss on his ruffled brown hair that was far messier than it had been this morning. 

"I missed you," Henry exclaimed, his little head resting lightly in the crook of her neck. 

"Missed you too sweetheart," she answered softly with a warm smile. 

She set him down carefully, brushing his coat down in a motherly way. The excited twinkle in his eyes just made her smile that little bit more. With Henry, she couldn't help but feel happy; he was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to her. He reached out wth his small hand and grasped hers as they slowly walked out of the school gate onto the icy side walk. 

"What did you do today dear?"

"I made glittery snowman!" Henry said with excitement. She noted the glitter in his hair and on his nose; she had wondered what that was. That might take some time to get out later. 

"Oh really? That sounds lovely! Did you do that in Art?" She asked, clutching his hand in her own to stop him from slipping as they walked back home. The ice was thick and patchy; in some areas however, it was a dangerous black ice that made her cling to Henry that little bit tighter.

"Yeah," he replied, his feet scuffing on the slippy pavement. "Ms Blanchard helped me make mine look extra special!" He said with a proud look on his face. 

"Isn't that nice," she answered with a distracted smile. Right now she needed to focus on getting them both home in one piece. She really needed to rethink the heels of the pavement was going to be like this for the next few days; the weather suggested as much and she was deeply regretting her impractical footwear.

She was just guiding Henry round the corner when she noted a flash of blonde hair making its way slowly across the pavement on the other side of the road. Her eyes were so distracted, she didn't notice the particular slippy ground below.

Her shoe slid on the ice, causing her to lose her balance entirely. She let go of Henry's hand as she plummeted to the floor with a thump. It happened so quickly, it was a moment later when she registered the pain that lanced up her back, and heard the crunch of her thin body on the icy sidewalk. 

"Ughh!" she cried out as she fell, the sharp pain twisting in her back, running throughout her body with the ice soaking through into her bones. 

'Mommy!!!' Henry yelled, throwing down his backpack and jumping down beside her. 

"I'm fine Henry," she answered in attempt to reassure him, but she could still see the anxiety in his big green eyes as she tried to bend upwards and failed miserably. 

"Madame Mayor??"  
She heard a yell from across the street, and the sound of pattering footsteps smacking across the ice. The flash of blonde came up right beside her, as did Emma's pink, frost flushed face. 

"Are you alright? Let me help you up!" The blonde cried out, moving to Regina's shoulders and placing her hands under her armpits. 

"I'm fine Emma, really," she insisted, but she couldn't help the groan she elicited when she stood straight backed with Emma's support. Her back throbbed painfully, and she internally sighed in irritation. This would take at least a days bed rest to heal. 

"There we go," Emma said with a weak smile as helped Regina lean against the wall. "What happened?" She asked with concern in her voice.

Regina merely gestured to the floor with a sarcastic smile, "It's icy Miss Swan haven't you noticed?" 

Emma was dressed in a thick black puffer jacket and jeans that were now wet at knees from bending down to help her. Much more practical than her own trouser suit that was now a few shades darker than it had been earlier that morning. But Emma, God. She looked adorable. Adorable? She was acting as if she was 5 years old. Regina get a grip, she muttered harshly to herself. 

"Who's dis momma?" Henry's little voice came over and she moved her thoughts back to her little boy. 

"Henry this is Emma," she replied, attempting to walk over to where Henry still stood. He clutched his rucksack, but there was confusion on his face as he registered the presence of someone new. 

"Nice to meet you sir," Emma said with a grin and a quick bow. Regina smiled with surprise at Emma's address, but it seemed to make Henry smile and he let out a giggle. It was good to see the anxiety wiped off his face with a laugh. 

"I'm no sir!" he answered with a grin. 

"Well then you must be a prince surely? If your mother is the Queen."

She noted a fond look flit across Emma's features, and she smiled back with an embarrassed flush in her cheeks. 

"Henry is my little prince, but I am no Queen Emma," she said with another smirk, but one that conveyed warmth. Emma's smile had completely distracted her from the ache in her back and the chill that had soaked through her coat. The blonde smiled at Henry, pretending to bow once more, watching as he chuckled gleefully at the attention she was giving him. 

There was something about Emma, something that she felt in her very soul; there was an inexplicable pain that Regina knew all too well, but there was also a kindness, a warmth, a little spark of something truly special. Only Emma would know exactly the right thing to do to get that smile back on her Henry's face. 

"Emma, would you like to come back with us for some hot cocoa and cinnamon? Me and Henry would be happy to have you," she found herself asking with a smile. Emma jerked up with an awkward grin, and Regina knew she was about to reject her offer. 

"Regina you don't have to-"

"But I want to," she replied firmly, hoping she conveyed how much she wanted Emma to Coke back with them. 

"Yes please come back! Momma makes the best cocoa!" Henry cried, grabbing Emma's hand and taking her with him a few steps in the direction of their house.

"Sure, why not? If the little man insists," she said with a little reluctance, but she also flashed a grin to Regina who followed the two down the street, watching with a smile at how they slid ungracefully down the street, still holding hands tightly.

Each step was jarring her back. She could almost feel her bones grinding together and the wetness from the ice chilled her to the bone. 

Emma looked back, noting Regina's face etched with pain. 

"Henry why don't we help your mom walk back? She took quite a tumble there," Emma suggested, guiding Henry back towards her. Regina smiled, but began to reassure. 

"I'm fine, really-"

"Nuh huh, what do you say Henry? Shall we help your mom home?"

Sneaky move Swan, using Henry against her. Regina couldn't help but smirk at her dirty tactics. Emma responded with a cheeky grin. 

"We gonna help you home momma," Henry said firmly, agreeing with Emma's assessment. 

Henry grasped one hand, and Emma her other. The blonde's hand was warm and soft in her own, and she smiled at Emma briefly, conveying her gratefulness. 

Emma smiled a warm smile back as they walked as a trio together down the street. You could hear them from streets away; Henry giggling and Regina chortling at Emma's funny faces and jokes as they headed home. 

Maybe the heavens hadn't got it out for her after all, Regina mused. Maybe she had everything she needed right here.


	6. Warm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a warming cup of hot cocoa and cinnamon, Regina and Henry had both insisted on her staying for dinner. Emma had agreed readily, and only partially with the knowledge that her designated food cupboard at home was terribly empty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hi...  
> I've been writing this fic for far too long I know, but as its December I thought I'd whip it out again and really try and finish it this year! Sorry to those also reading Waiting for the train, I will try and update as soon as possible, I am part way through a chapter, and will try and update before the year is out. The ending SwanQueen got on OUAT makes me even more motivated to write fic to give them the stories they deserve.
> 
> This update is for anyone still actually reading this fic, enjoy! If you want a song to listen to whilst reading this chapter, I recommend Ruth B. 'In my dreams.'
> 
> Happy December!

After a warming cup of hot cocoa and cinnamon, Regina and Henry had both insisted on her staying for dinner. Emma had agreed readily, and only partially with the knowledge that her designated food cupboard at home was terribly empty. 

“That lasagne isn’t going to disappear you know?” Regina remarked. 

Emma looked up, shaken out of her haze of desperation, noting the faint smile on Regina’s face and Henry’s oblivious munching. 

“Sorry, I-“she blurted out, shame suddenly flooding her cheeks in the form of the colour red.

“No Emma, it’s fine,” the brunette assured. “I just want you to know that it’s here for as long as you want, and if you need more there are leftovers.”

“I think I’ll be fine, thanks though,’ Emma murmured, stirring her fork around the stringy cheese top. 

She could tell Regina was all too aware of how thin she was; her t-shirt was baggy and her pale, skinny arms were an obvious sign of her lack of nutrition. God, she needed to work out more.

“Momma, can I have seconds?” Henry chirped up, a cheeky grin on his face as he asked. Regina twisted her smile up into something that resembled a smirk, but responded all the same.

“You can have seconds Henry, but only if you and Emma share what’s left over.”

Using the kid huh, this woman is good. But stealing her own tactics? Now that was playing dirty. 

She smiled briefly, her lips quirking up at the corner in a half smile. She nodded, and Henry rushed to pile the leftovers onto a huge plate. It was stringy, gooey, meaty heaven; Emma was sure she had never eaten anything more wonderful in her life.

“Regina, this lasagne is amazing!”

Regina’s smile was worth the comment, and it lit up the room, making Emma’s heart swell.

“That’s very nice of you Emma, thank you.”

When Emma had scooped up the last cheesy mouthful into her eager mouth, she slumped back slightly in the chair satisfied, more so than she had been in a long time. The groans and creaks that usually came from her stomach were replaced with a seemingly content silence.

Henry too practically slurped his last mouthful and slid off to his chair, and tugged gently on his mother’s arm, as if in silent communication. After pressing a light kiss on Henry’s head, Regina nodded with a smirk, and let him run off into the living room whilst she collected the plates, placing them by the sink in a pile.

“I can help wash up,’ Emma offered, sliding from her chair and walking up to where Regina stood. The brunette turned, almost affronted that the blonde had even suggested it. 

“Or not, I-“Emma quickly back-channelled, worried she had overstepped her boundaries. She had to remind herself that despite how she felt, she didn’t in fact know this woman very well at all. In fact, she had known her for a little under 2 weeks, which didn’t go anywhere near explaining the feeling of butterflies in her chest she felt every time she looked at the brunette.

“I would be glad of the company, but there is no need for you to assist me in the household chores, Emma.”

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” the blonde asked hesitantly.

“Positive. You can sit with me though, if you would like?” Regina asked, and Emma thought she noted a hint of anxiety in the woman’s voice when she posed her question.

“I would very much,” she replied with a grin, easing herself onto a chair closer to where Regina was sorting the dishes.

Emma took the opportunity to look around the flawless kitchen. It looked like something out of a really expensive catalogue Emma concluded, including Regina herself who looked incredibly sophisticated, making her rethink her jeans and t-shirt combo suddenly.

“So, what are your plans for Christmas?” the Mayor said after a moment of silence.

“Oh, nothing much,” Emma replied, “Exchange presents with Granny and Ruby in the morning, and then cook in the kitchen as usual.”

“You work on Christmas day?” the brunette responded, sounding surprised, but her facial expression was obscured from Emma’s view.

“Yeah, it’s always very busy, and we do a special roast for everyone.” 

If she had anything to be proud of, it was her commitment to that kitchen. And it was traditional for her, Granny and Ruby to save a bit of food on the side for their very own Christmas lunch. It was an odd sort of family, but it was better than anything she’d ever had before in the past. Christmas had become something she even slightly looked forward to.

“How very caring of you Emma,” Regina said tilting round slightly to reveal a warm smile as she continued to remove any leftover food from the plates.

“Yeah well, it’s never nice to be alone on Christmas so...” she trailed off, her mind flashing momentarily to the past. She couldn’t help but unconsciously shiver as an image of her childhood self, curled up in scraps of blanket sat huddled in a doorway, with the Christmas snowflakes falling to the ground around her. Not that she probably had been aware of the date at the time; being alone…time seemed to move differently, less regular. To her it had probably been another normal day alone in the cold. 

The words, “Emma you’re frozen,” took her out of her thoughts, as well as the warm hands she felt gripping her arms gently. She jumped slightly, registering Regina’s face looking anxiously into her own eyes.

“Sorry Regina!” she exclaimed suddenly, realising she had zoned out in her company. Could she have been any ruder? “I zone out sometimes, I really didn’t mean to.”

“It’s no worry,” the brunette responded, “but I’m going to get you a sweater, you feel chilled to the bone.”

“I’m fine Regina really-”

“No, I insist,” she said firmly, striding out of the room. Emma could hear light thuds as she walked up the stairs, and presumably into her room. She knew realistically it must be warm in Regina’s house, but the chill did often get to her, perhaps something she had acquired during childhood from all those nights on the streets that had never really left her.

“Here,” came from behind, and there was Regina, now handing her a black sweater. It was incredibly soft, maybe even cashmere mused the blonde. She was tempted to hand it back, but she knew better than to refuse, and slipped it on over her t-shirt. It felt heavenly, like she was being hugged.

“Thank you,” she said gratefully.

“Emma, it’s fine,” she reassured with a soft smile, “you’re my guest, I don’t want you to be at any discomfort.”

“Oh well…thanks,” she replied awkwardly. She couldn’t seem to act anything resembling ‘normal’ towards Regina. She seemed perfect in every way. A loving mother, a committed mayor, and just generally a caring person. She just had to keep reminding herself whatever feelings she was having for her likely wouldn’t be returned. 

“So, Emma, what do you like to do in your free time? Let me guess, a professional artist? Guitar player extraordinaire?” She could hear the slight joking in her tone, and chuckled in response.

“Unfortunately, no. I’m working at the café most days, I only really get this afternoon and Sundays off. Then I guess I just…” She paused, slightly ashamed at her lack of hobbies…her lack of anything really that might make her even slightly attractive or even interesting to the other woman. “I don’t really do much except read or watch tv. I’m sorry it’s not that exciting.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it, I don’t have much free time myself,” Regina replied. She placed the last plate in the dishwasher and removed her gloves, turning around to face Emma with a swoosh of her hair that made her want to run her fingers through it immediately. Emma. No. That is inappropriate, you barely know the woman, and she has invited you into her home, she muttered harshly to herself. 

“I do love to indulge in a good book too,” Regina said. She went to sit on the seat opposite the blonde over the counter, resting her elbows on its pristine surface. “What’s your favourite?”

“Uh, I always kind of liked Catcher in the Rye,” the blonde mumbled, “it sort of made me feel like it was okay to be fucked up,” she added before she really registered what was leaving her lips. 

“Shit, I mean, I...” Regina’s expression was once more sad, if not a little melancholy as she regarded Emma’s words. 

“It’s alright Emma, I understand,” she said softly, almost in a motherly way. The brunette looked nervously for a second, before reaching out slowly to grasp Emma’s hand in hers, rubbing it slightly in a comforting motion.

“I didn’t mean to say that. I just feel like I don’t have to hide from you, which is crazy, because I barely know you, and great, I’m mumbling, probably fucking this all up,” she sighed, taking a deep breath in through her nose.

“You’ve not fucked anything up,” Regina replied in that same soft tone. “I want to get to know you Emma Swan. There’s something about you…” she trailed off, and when Emma looked up quickly she spotted what was definitely a blush on her cheeks.

Emma was about to respond when a small voice came from the doorway.

“Mom?”

Henry’s face was incredibly angelic, and Emma could guess for good reason, as he chirped out:

“Do we have dessert?”

“Why yes, I do have dessert Henry, but have you done all of your homework set by Miss Blanchard?” The brunette questioned, looking mildly suspicious. But the loving twinkle Emma saw in Regina’s eyes was unmistakable despite her expression.

“Yess, I did it already.” He replied, but the blonde was a little unconvinced, and she flashed a grin to Regina as she noted his attempts at a lie.

“You messing with your mom kid?” she interjected.

“No...” Henry said a little guiltily.

“I’ll tell you what Henry, why don’t you and Emma have a cookie whilst I finish up.” Henry’s face light up with excitement at his mother’s words. “But,” she added more firmly, “You will do your homework after that, alright?”

“Alright,” the boy said with a reluctant sigh, but with an eager grin, took a nicely iced Christmas biscuit from the box Regina was holding out, and scampered off with his rucksack into the living room.

“Would you like a cookie, Emma?” Regina offered with a smile, holding the box with an outstretched arm.

“I would love one, they look wonderful,” Emma said thankfully. She didn’t think she had been this full in a very long time, but she wasn’t going to refuse what looked like a beautifully decorated Christmas cookie from the woman who had begun to capture her heart. The conversation that had been interrupted had made her feel slightly fuzzy, and the woman’s gentle smile that was coming her way didn’t seem to help.

She took a bite of the crumbly biscuit and exclaimed.

“Holy sh-oot Regina,” she corrected herself mid-swear, “that is a damn nice cookie!”

“Haha, why thank you Emma. Me and Henry made them together.”

“It might be one of the nicest things I’ve tasted in my life,” she said, as she munched the rest. 

“Would you like another?” Regina asked kindly.

“No, I couldn’t possibly eat another thing,” the blonde insisted. “But thanks though. Thank you for this whole evening it was wonderfully unexpected. Not that I wanted you to fall over but I’m really glad we got to hang out and I got to meet the adorable kid you told me about.”

“Me too,” she replied. “Thank you for saving me today, and for what you said to Henry. I don’t know what I would’ve done without your help,” Regina said gratefully.

“It’s nothing, really. I’ve been around young kids so long I kind of know what works to get that smile back.”

“Do you have lots of siblings then?” the brunette asked.

“Something like that,” Emma said, hesitating this time before she let out her next words. “I…I’m an orphan really, I grew up in a group home.” Her eyes flickered up to Regina’s, gauging her response before going any further. She didn’t even really know why she was divulging this much information, but Regina just seemed so nice, so trustworthy, just so much like home. She felt her troubles ease off her back as she allowed them to leave her lips.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” she answered genuinely, flashing Emma a soft sad sort of smile that made Emma feel weak, (which would have been a problem if she hadn't already been sitting down.) 

“It’s alright,” she brushed off, “like you say, old news?” she half questioned with a smirk, hoping Regina would get her awkward sense of humour.

“Old news,” she repeated, her smile widening slightly.

The blonde glanced at her phone quickly, and noticed that it was in fact getting late. 

“I should really get going, get out of your hair."

“You don’t have to leave just yet Emma, really,” Regina assured.

“Nah, I do. I don’t want to take up any more of you and your kids time. Thank you so much for the meal though, it really was wonderful,” she insisted, sliding off the kitchen stool. Regina nodded, looking almost resigned. 

Emma walked back to the front door, picking up her black puffy coat and scarf from the coat hook. She realised she was still wearing Regina’s sweater, and moved to tug it off but a warm hand stopped her movement. 

“Keep it,” she said, “It’s cold out.”

“Regina, I don’t want to take your stuff, this looks expensive anyhow.” Emma replied. Regina was right, it was into minus figures and she knew it, but she wasn’t a charity case, she wasn’t.

“Please, it’d make me feel better,” the brunette responded, looking pleadingly into Emma’s eyes. Emma wasn’t sure she could refuse.

“Okay…” she said, stepping down, “but I’ll give it back when I next see you I swear.”

“And when will that be?”

“I…don’t know I guess,” realising that they didn’t usually inhabit the same parts of town.

“Why don’t I give you my number then? We could do this again?” Regina asked. The brunette’s cheeks were flushed again, and Emma wanted to jump for joy at the woman’s question.

“Oh sure!” She grabbed her phone from her pocket and typed in the number the brunette rattled off. Once they had exchanged numbers, Emma wrapped herself up, ready to go out into the cold streets of Storybrooke.

“Say goodbye to Henry for me please.”

“Of course,” she replied with a smile. “It was lovely to have you Emma.”

The white fairy lights that adorned the banister twinkled softly in the background, giving even the entrance hall a cosy Christmas feeling, making her even less inclined to leave.

“It was lovely to be here,” Emma said, her voice going slightly husky as she noticed the proximity her and Regina were to one another. The hall was slightly dark, but romantically light, making it almost too hard to resist a quick kiss on Regina’s cheek. She settled for a half hug. As she leaned in, Emma smelt the apple fragrance wafting off Regina’s hair, and its softness on her own cheek. Regina seemed to return the hug, and she felt one of the woman’s hands curl around her lower back. With their bodies pressed so close it felt like magic, and she too was little flushed as she pulled away from the brunette.

“Goodnight Regina,” Emma said softly, as she reached for the handle, pulling open the door. As she did so, the drafty air escaped into the house, along with a few snowflakes that were falling slowly from the sky. As she descended the steps down the pathway to the gate, she looked back, noting Regina was now accompanied by Henry, and they were waving from the light doorway, making her chest flutter. 

Although the frosty air whipped at her coat and hair as she walked back, Emma had never felt so warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review/comment if you're still reading! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a review! Your lovely comments make me want to carry on writing :)


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